I’ve been running cnizz.com for about 4 years now and its served me well. I’ve gotten in touch with clients, gained new friends, and have easy access to reference materials no matter where I am. I also enjoy blogging about the many subjects you find on here. It’s been awesome, but there is a dark side though, that dark side is the amount of spam I receive.
I’ve tried everything from asking nicely to not email me if you are “a spammer, solicitor, outsourcing form, or any otherwise unsavory character” to putting up captcha code. As many of you know – these things only prevent a percentage of the dredge of the internet from coming through. I decided today that I am going to take one of the negatives of running cnizz.com and turn it into a positive.
But how? Now when you spam me you are going to get a nice post like this with all the personal information you sent me (name, email, and phone number) and I’m going to make fun of you. Think of this as a 1700s town square where the peasants are hurling rotten cabbage at your face, your welcome. Lets begin with ol’ Shafi here:
Name: Shafi Kash
Phone: 778-340-4115
Email: admin@vancouvermart.com
Company: Spammy McSpam Alot
Goal: Pissing Me Off
Hi, I am contacting you to inquire about your needs for a contract programmer.
Holy turd monkeys! I completely forget about my needs for a contact programmer. Thanks for reminding me, I’ll certainly be sending you an e-card right away.
I am a freelance web programmer based in Vancouver, BC and specialized in ASP, ASP .NET, PHP, MS SQL, MySQL (and other databases such as MS Access, Firebird), AJAX, JavaScript, VBScript, ColdFusion, integrating third party components like ASPJpeg, ASPUpload, OSCommerce, UPS real-time freight estimator, PayPal Pro systems, Authorize.net, CHASE Paymentech, Moneris, Virtual Merchant, PSIGate and other payment gateways, Drupal core/customized modules.
Wow Shafi that list is so absolutely freakin awesome that I actually fell asleep after the third skill you listed. Please, oh please add in some more buzz words! You are missing web 2.0 and Ajax!
I routinely work on creating custom database programs, shopping carts, credit card processing applications by using different payment gateways, LMS AICC – CMI applications, company intranets and extranets, and much more. I was wondering if your company might need some help in any of my areas of specialty on a contract basis. I have over 10 years of experience in programming and my list of clients includes big names such as Comcast, Motorola, and Pharmasave.
Really? You routinely work on this pile of awesomeness! Holy cow intestines thats sweet! Wait, if you have such big clients like Comcast and Motorola, why are you contacting such a small fish like me? Maybe its because you’re having problems garnering interest based on how crappy and simple your site looks. I bet you get a lot of traffic for the keywords in your title tag like “Reliable Computer Programming Service Provider.” I know I always search for that when I need a reliable computer programming service provider, good job!
Geez, I bet the tiger on your site really instills confidence in your clients as well. Such a powerful creature and symbol of technology. I’m absolutely dumbfounded.
I work with companies and individuals both in Canada, the US, and abroad. If you are interested, I can supply you with a list of some recent works that I have done. If you have any questions, I can be reached at (778) 340-4115 or by email at shafi@vancouvermart.com . I look forward to hearing from you.
Best regards, Shafi Kash
Okay Shafi, I’ll get right on that. I noticed on your site you’ve converted your email address to an image. Probably because you don’t want bots scraping your email address and spamming you right? Yeah spam blows.
Feel free to send emails to shafi@vancouvermart.com care of cnizz.com.
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Tags: spam
Well, well, well. I don’t know what really make you so nuts but obviously you don’t know the differences between a polite business partnership/cooperation proposal and a spam. If somebody writes you under a specific subject which is fully related to your business along with full contact information, it cannot be categorized as a spam I guess. And if you think that there are some wrongful information included in this proposal you may ask me to provide evidences. I think it is certainly impolite and absolutely unprofessional to react like this to a very simple correspondence even if you don’t like it. I like to see what others think and like to say in this regard.
@Shafi Kash
I think you’re a spamming asshat!
Yeah I’m kind of a jerk.
@Shafi Kash
Your website is absolutely horrible mr Shafi, I suggest you do some research on negotiating partnerships correctly. The example shown above is what we use as a “bad example” and the “what not to do” when contacting another company